Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Getting a sentence straightened out

Look at this sentence:
He had told her that his illegal drugs were actually vitamins for months.
What's wrong? Mark Nichol explains:
This sentence, like many others that include a misplaced modifier, suffers because it reads as if the perpetrator had told someone that the illegal drugs in his possession were vitamins intended as nutritional supplements for the periods of days known as months, after which they were not so intended. This is a “You know what I meant” mistake, which is still a mistake. A better rendition — one that appropriately positions the modifier directly after the verb it modifies — places the key detail in the final position: “He had told her for months that his illegal drugs were actually vitamins.”
And consider this:
It’s not just losing in the regular season that strengthens your core, but losing in the playoffs as well.
Isn’t “losing in the playoffs,” rather than “losing in the regular season,” the point of the statement? 
Actually, as demonstrated in the previous sentence, contrasting phrases are best positioned together in the midst of a sentence. The key detail is what the two types of losing have in common: “It’s not just losing in the regular season, but losing in the playoffs as well, that strengthens your core.”
More ailing sentences at the link.

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